Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Lance in Argyle!!!

AP: In a shot across ASO's bow, Lance Armstrong announced today that he will be coming out of retirement to race for Slipstream in an attempt to take an 8th Tour de France in 2008. Jonathon Vaughters, Johan Bruyneel and the very French looking John Kerry (Three Johns) introduced Lance at a press conference in front of the Eiffel Tower earlier today to make the announcement.

Lance, looking fit as ever, noted his decision to ride came to him when he was inspecting his feces yesterday morning. He noted, "I just looked down and it reminded me of the ASO and how they are treating the riders." He went on, "My domestiques this year are going to be the newly appointed argyle clad riders Alberto Contador and Levi Leipheimer. We will have an announcement on them later at the McDonald's in front of UCI president Pat McQuaid's Champs Elysees penthouse." "The French are only behind the USA in pounds of McDonald's consumption worldwide." touted the very French looking Kerry. "...just one more thing we are better than the French at,..." said Armstrong.

The ASO, spotted at their normal hide-out/bistro, declined comment when asked about Lance's decision.


KMAX said...

Nice, Gwadzilla already got me today so I was more prepared this time around. I do really like the shit comment though...

John P. said...

yeah, the feces line was questionable.